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Intelligent Design-A Limerick Story

Scott on December 6, 2005 at 8:15 am

My colleague John has been hard at work posting like a mad dog and putting up some GREAT stuff. I’ve been out of commission for a couple weeks with back and shoulder problems. During my “down time,” I did have the chance to create a limerick-story about Intelligent Design to go along with John’s on-going “I.D. Limerick” challenge…

An I.D. Limerick (in 13 parts)

There once was a scientist supreme
A man held in the highest esteem
He took on a task
Removing the mask
Off the “fallacy” known as I.D.

“Now I know that I.D. can’t be true,”
Said the man to his wife sick with flu.
“We’re stardust and chance,
Dual-helix advanced,
Complex forms of primordial goo.”

So he thought to himself, “It’s quite plain.
We are a complex chemical chain.
As we move through life
We evolve through strife
‘Lest our species become a dead strain.”

“I.D. is emotional twaddle!
Must we long on this concept dawdle?
Why do they insist
Design must exist
Over us a great god must caudle?”

So this hubris and pride filled his head
For He knew he had nothing to dread
No chance could there be
Intelligence free!
Free of fear he went off to his bed

Later on he was dismayed to see
Investigating furiously
It all seemed quite planned
Designed by some Hand
Proving the validity of I.D.

“Still, I cannot believe that it’s true!”
Spake the man to his wife still with flu
“If I.D. is the way,
then God, too, must stay
This theory, my good wife, just won’t do.”

But The scientist’s wife was quite ill.
And the sickness she had in fact killed.
The poor man distraut
He cried out for naught
Then he buried her on a lone hill.

“Why do you weep?” Asked a guy
Who had happened to hear the sad sigh.
“We’re stardust and chance,
Dual-helix advanced,
Cousin to the monkey and the fly.”

“So you see,” said the guy with a twist,
“Your emotions don’t really exist.
Evolved over time
It’s nature’s design
To ensure that our species persists.”

“See, this thing you call love is a sham,”
Said the guy to the grieving old man.
“Stop your tears, move on
Your dead wife is gone.
You’re a victim of Darwin’s wise plan.”

The scientist knelt by the grave side
And he wept for his wife who had died
He now saw the truth
We’re more than just goop
So with eyes closed he gave up his pride.

Humanistic Evolution’s plight-
Ocham’s razor will show them the light
And Plato’s First Cause
Plus Newton’s three laws
Will Confirm that I.D. is quite right!

***NOTE: John helped me fine-tune my limerick story. He then created a variation
of the story with a much darker (and very clever) twist. I enjoyed it so much
I figured I would post his as well. Check his out…

There once was a scientist supreme
A young man held in the highest esteem
He took on the task
Removing the mask
Of the “fallacy” known as I.D.

“Now I know that I.D. can’t be true,”
Said the man to his wife sick with flu.
“We’re stardust and chance,
Dual-helix advanced,
Complex forms of primordial soup.”

And he thought to himself, “It’s quite plain.
We are merely a chemical chain.
Wandering through life
And evolving through strife
Lest our species become a dead strain.”

So this hubris and pride filled his head
And He saw he had nothing to dread
What fear could there be
A world now empty
And he went to his young wife in bed

But the scientist’s wife became ill.
And at last her strong heart became still.
The young man distraught
Begged God, all for naught
And he buried his love on a hill.

As he walked home he passed an old man
White bearded, stiff, weathered and wan
A smile could be gleaned,
From his eyes and mien
And a chill through the scientist ran

“I know you,” the scientist whispers
“I’ve seen you, though only in pictures.
In books I revere”
But just then his fear
Left him silent, throat closed in strictures.

“Tell me, why do you weep?” asked the sage,
And he turned like a crinkly old page.
“We’re stardust and chance,
Dual-helix advanced,
We’re just rats in a purposeless maze.”

“These emotions may seem to exist.
You may feel that your wife should be missed
This evolved in time
It’s nature’s design
To ensure that our species persists.”

Then the scientists fear turned to rage
And he felt like a rat in a cage
His heartache for nought
Existence to rot
He swung hard and struck down the old sage.

Yes, old man, what you say now is true
And for that I’m indebted to you
Since love for my wife
Is nothing, your life
Just as surely means nothing to you.

In irony the moral revealed
The sharp sword of science that you wield
Will one day in time
(Just as in our rhyme)
Have an edge for all necks in the field.

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