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Rapture Insurance for Rover

John on September 9, 2009 at 9:00 am

dog-catYou’ve just left earth in the rapture. No need to worry about getting to work on time or whether or not you left the coffee maker on. That’s all behind you now.

But, wait, what about your beloved pets? Who will care for fluffy and spot when the anti-Christ takes over the Earth?


Fortunately, there is a concerned group of atheist animal lovers ready to care for your pets, for a small fee:

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.  Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus…

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.  Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

The creators of the site have an entertaining FAQ as well:

Q: What if one of my family members are left behind. Will you still take possession of my pet?
A: That depends. When the rescuer arrives, if your loved one wants to retain possession of the pet, the pet stays in the home.   We expect in these circumstances that the pet will offer the family member some comfort and stability given the trauma of what has occurred.  If the family member prefers, we will adopt the pet per our contract.

The site maintains this is all for real, but it looks to me like an atheist brainstorm that came after one too many Cervezas. The FAQ in particular reads like something designed to garner media traffic more than raise cash. I’m curious to know whether they’ve had any takers yet, but I’m afraid to ask.

[Forgot to add a hat tip to Keith who tipped me on this.]

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