This One’s for Mark Morford
John on August 26, 2009 at 9:48 am
Back in April, Mark Morford — the Ann Coulter of the San Francisco left who famously described Obama as a “lightworker” (whatever the hell that is) — wrote a sneering column about the new 2010 Camaro. He described it as a “sexy macho bloated Hot Wheels fantasia dreamgasm of a car-like drunken child’s funbot crayon sketch.” The guy’s a loon, but you have to give him props for a sentence like that.
In reality, the new Camaro is a pretty amazing bit of engineering. The motor and transmission are the top option available in the Cadillac CTS. It produces 304 HP (that’s flywheel of course) and still manages to get 29mpg on the freeway, the same as the Hyundai Sonata I’m selling to pay the taxes.
Anyway, yesterday I picked up the “Hot Wheels fantasia dreamgasm” I ordered back in April and man is it fantastic. I’ve only driven it a few miles, but my greatest concern so far is that some driver craning his neck to check it out is going to cause an accident. I haven’t jumped on it too hard, but the pickup is very nice.
And it turns out the timing on my car’s arrival was perfect. Thanks to another Camaro lover, I’ll be picking up some free pizza for dinner tonight:
Papa John’s planned to offer all Camaro owners a free pizza at stores on Wednesday.
The only thing better than a great new car is a great new car with free pizza. Actually, there is one thing even better than that and it’s being able to do this…
Eat my shorts, Morford!
Category: Popular Culture |
And your dust!
August 26, 2009 @ 9:51 amCongrats on the car.
Nice wheels!
I wonder if my wife would let me get one if I feign a mid-life crisis…
August 26, 2009 @ 10:10 amAwesome! I want one! Would a baby seat fit in the back?
August 26, 2009 @ 10:59 amTo hell with Morofrd and his ilk of panty-waist nanny-state teet suckers.
Put the hammer down, John.
August 26, 2009 @ 11:01 amBummed we were still sleeping when the new ride came by! Make sure an give us a copy of the key to go with the house keys we have for you guys too! (;
August 26, 2009 @ 11:25 amah, the Camaro! my first car was a 78 Camaro with a 305 V-8… I’ll always have a soft spot for that thing, even the memories of it rusting out from under me. A dream of mine is to restore on someday (on my bucket list). Nice car, John.
August 26, 2009 @ 2:28 pmI’m officially announcing my profound jealousy!
Seriously though, congrats, and enjoy it!
August 26, 2009 @ 4:01 pmCongrats on the car man, American muscle is always cool no matter what, so Ignore the leftist tree-hugging lesbo-mobile drivers….
August 26, 2009 @ 4:15 pmHad an orange ’82 Mustang in college. Probably the worst car I’ve ever owned. This is a step up.
Sadly, Papa Johns had exceeded their free pizza quota so I had to pay for dinner.
On the plus side, I’m dropping my car off tomorrow. In exchange for a few days of R&D time I’m getting a pair of shorty headers and a cat-back exhaust free. It’s about $1000 worth of work so I’m okay about the pizza.
August 26, 2009 @ 5:54 pmLooks awesome! Sorry in advance for the all the tickets you’ll be getting…
August 26, 2009 @ 9:12 pmWorst car had to have been mine John, sorry. My family’s 1966 Dodge Dart, gold exterior, olive green interior, was my high school ride.
Ended up with a 3′ diameter scorch mark on the hood after an electrical fire in the engine on my way to a dance, junior year, and even after that, I still had no other wheels… Ah yes, I was proud. We’d pile 15 people into a VW Bug, just to avoid having to take my car!
My friend still contends that her Pinto (dubbed the bean mobile) was worse, olive green exterior, but I would seriously argue that.
August 26, 2009 @ 11:11 pmMy mustang looked okay on the outside, but if you check it out the early 80s mustangs were not very cool. Ford was still recovering from the gas shortages of the 70s.
Anyway, my grandfather bought it so I’d have a car suitable for picking up girls (that’s what he told my mom), but it leaked oil from day one and one when I failed to top it off it overheated so badly that the cast iron block was permanently warped. From that day on, the car would overheat at the drop of a hat. Every time I was idling the needle would start inching up. I started keeping a few gallons of water in the trunk in case of traffic jams. It once overheated while I was on a date…in a snowstorm! Not a good car.
It finally died somewhere north of Baltimore when I was driving up to New Jersey to see this girl…
August 26, 2009 @ 11:35 pmJ – I see chivalry in your near future!
At my house – we have a saying – if you ever see a guy opening the passenger door for a girl, it means either the girl is new or the car is new.
Sorry P. Nice car.
Signed – Jealous Mini Van Driver.
August 27, 2009 @ 8:38 amI have seen the new Camaro around town here and naturally get a little jealous. You have to love the sound of that V8. Ok, I still have to wait at least a couple of years since I only have 155,000 miles on my 06 Impala SS. Hopefully, the “car czar” will not get in my way for my next muscle car.
As an aside, I should mention when my spouse asks me why I have to have such a fast car when I am in my 60′s, I tell her it is because my reflexes being a little slower, I therefore need a compensating factor. Hey, it was the best I could come up with.
Just a thought for you younger guys in the future.
August 27, 2009 @ 12:56 pmRalph,
Good tip.
My car is actually the V6. Plenty of power for a young guy, ahem, like me.
Dropped it off this morning at a shop in Corona. They are using it for R&D and when all is done next week they’re going to be giving me a free set of shorty headers and a cat-back exhaust worth about $1000. I spoke to the designer and he expects 10-15 HP gain from the headers. I should be able to double that with a new CAI.
When it’s all done, it’ll be around 280HP at the wheels (330 flywheel) and the mpg’s should go up 2-3 as well. I expect to be getting 24-25 mpg in mixed driving which is what I’d get in an Accord :-]
August 27, 2009 @ 3:30 pmI want to see prove of that mileage once you have it. ; )
August 27, 2009 @ 3:50 pmThe car keeps a running tally of mileage as you drive, so it should be pretty easy (once I figure out how to work the menu that is).
August 27, 2009 @ 6:16 pmI won a Camaro (RC model) from that Carl’s Jr. contest. Actually two of them >.< Not exactly what I was hoping for… So naturally I'm jealous =) Of course you got yours the old fashioned way–with hard work!
Wish I was still in the area to see your sweet ride. Have fun bro!
August 27, 2009 @ 6:32 pm