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Kim Jung-il as Maxwell Smart (Agent 86)

Scott on October 10, 2006 at 1:26 pm

I have been reading over some of today’s news stories providing details that indicate that the nuclear explosion N. Korea bragged about yesterday was not so nuclear after all.

Reading the news accounts triggered something in the back of my mind, and then if finally became clear…Kim Jung-il as Maxwell Smart, Agent 86:

KIM JUNG-IL: “I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE CONDUCTED A SUCCESSFUL TEST OF A LARGE NUCLEAR EXPLOSIVE. WE HAVE NOW JOINED THE NUCLEAR POWERS OF THE WORLD, AND THE WORLD SHOULD REJOICE TO HAVE US AS MEMBERS OF THIS EXCLUSIVE CLUB!

WORLD OBSERVERS: “BUT THE SEISMIC ACTIVITY REGISTERED AS FAR LESS THAN WHAT SHOULD HAVE REGISTERED FOR AN ATOMIC EXPLOSION. IN FACT, THE SEISMIC TREMOR REGISTERED AS ONLY 1/20TH OF WHAT IT SHOULD HAVE FOR SUCH A DETONATION.

KIM JUNG-IL: “O.K., WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT WE EXPLODED A SMALL ATOMIC BOMB?”

WORLD OBSERVERS: “BUT THERE HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY NO SIGNS OF RADIOACTIVITY ANYWHERE ON THE KOREAN PENNINSULA.”

KIM JUNG-IL: “WELL THEN, WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT WE BLEW UP A LARGE STASH OF C-4?”

WORLD OBSERVERS: “SATELITE IMAGERY DOESN’T SHOW ANY EXPLOSION OF THAT SIZE TAKING PLACE ANYWHERE IN NORTH KOREA.”

KIM JUNG-IL:  “HOW ‘BOUT POPPING A REALLY, REALLY LARGE BALOON?”

WORLD OBSERVERS:  “WORLD-WIDE AMBIENT NOISE RECORDERS AND SEISMIC MICROPHONES WOULD HAVE PICKED IT UP.”

KIM JUNG-IL: “WOULD YOU BELIEVE ALL OF MY GENERALS BLEW BUBBLES AND POPPED THEM WHILE AT THE SAME TIME STOMPING THEIR FEET AND CLAPPING THEIR HANDS?

This would make great fodder for comedy, if it wasn’t so frightening.

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Category: Foreign Affairs |

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