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Stories We’d Be Reading if Bush Were Still President

John on April 13, 2009 at 3:14 pm

So, after President Obama ordered sharpshooters to shoot four untrained, teenage Somali pirates who had been drifting in a lifeboat for four days, the press declares it a success. AP says it was a “big win” for Obama. UPI says he “passed his first test” as Command in Chief.

Now let’s imagine that this took place six months ago under President Bush. Here are the headlines we’d be reading:

  1. The War on Terror’s Fresh, New Face – NY Times
    • Somalia – Glassy-eyed from lack of sleep and food, the four Somali pirates were barely able to hold their weapons up as sharpshooters took aim at their amydylas. Some of those involved in the operation questioned the President’s approach. “They weren’t a threat to this ship” one soldier said on condition of anonymity, “I think we could have resolved this without firing on them.”
  2. Killing Pirates Only Adds to Their Ranks – Huffington Post
    • President Bush has never lacked for decisiveness, nor has he been shy about rattling sabers or in this case actually taking one out to execute seventeen and eighteen year-old pirates. But experts remain concerned that, however popular such decisive action may be with a narrow band of the President’s supporters, they will likely prompt an equally impassioned reprisal. Already there is evidence that pirate ranks are swelling with newly embittered adversaries.
  3. Number One with a Bullet – Maureen Dowd
    • Somewhere in an dark, undisclosed location Darth Cheney is laughing his ass off. This is what we’ve come to…”Bush-whacking” is no longer a snarky sentiment bandied about America’s editorial pages, it is now official government policy.
  4. Mother of 17 Year Old Pirate Wants Justice – LA Times
    • While Republicans in Congress were quick to lionize the President’s decisive handling of the crisis, not everyone was rejoicing. Abdi Dalmar is the mother of one of the young men executed yesterday. “Why would they do this?! My son loved America.”
  5. Sarah Palin Says Pirates Got What they Deserved – CBS News
    • In the latest possible misstep for her future political career, Sarah Palin indicated her support for President Bush’s handling of the standoff. “I think the President did what needed to be done…in Somalia. We can’t allow this sort of piracy to continue unchecked.” But some members of Palin’s own party were questioning the move…
  6. Special Comment – Keith Olbermann
    • Is there no low to which you will not stoop? It’s a rhetorical question — and for Mr. Bush let me be clear — that’s a question we already know the answer to. In fact we know it all too well. You, sir, are now literally asking our military to shoot teenagers in the back of the skull as part of your policy of endless war. We’re not even at war with Somalia! But I suppose this is the price of distracting America from your legion of failed policies. Fascist doesn’t even begin to cover it! There are Nazi prison guards who would be reduced to tears by your unbridled brutality, sir!
  7. Real Time monologue – Bill Maher
    • So, President Bush today renewed his opposition to the S-Chip program. He said that he will be proposing an alternative program to Congress shortly. Yeah, I think we saw that one in action in Somalia already Mr. President. That’s one way to balance the budget. Just shoot the sick kids.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Some President’s are more equal than others.

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Category: MSM & Bias |

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