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How DUMB Can One State Be?

Scott on March 6, 2006 at 1:08 pm

This story from Oregon about a Purple Nurple gone wrong is funny and would be hilarious except that it is true, so then the funny turns to sad and pathetic.

In short, one teenage guy gave his friend a purple nurple (otherwise known as a titty-twister, a nipple twister, a nipple nuggy, etc). The parents of the boy on the receiving end called the police who then charged the offending nurpler with offensive physical touching. He was fined $67 and given three days of community service.

As a last step in his road to redemption, the nurpler was required to write a letter:

Describing the act in detail and any resulting life changes, expounding on his “thinking errors,” taking accountability for the offense and detailing his “criminal thought processes.”

The unrepentant and recalcitrant teen refused this final act of contrition.

I don’t know which I find more ridiculous the parents for pressing criminal charges, the police for arresting the kid, the judge for hearing the case, or the state for enabling such ridiculous behavior in the first place.

I am awaiting the news that the State of Oregon has sentenced the nefarious nurpler to death.

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