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In Case Your Behind is Left Behind…

Scott on June 5, 2008 at 1:36 pm

How convenient. A new service is being offered by a helpful group of people who want Christians to be prepared for the Rapture of the Church. For just $40 a month, youvebeenleftbehind.com offers two services:

1) Email a Final Goodbye – Just six days after the Rapture of the Church, Christians can have up to 62 people receive a final email message in which they say goodbye, share the Gospel, and maybe ask a non-believing friend to water the plants and feed the pets.

How is this accomplished? Quite simple. The website has several administrators. If at least three of these workers don’t log in for three days in a row, the email rapture alarm sounds and all emails in its database or sent out to the designated recipients. It’s kind of like a failsafe system for nuclear warheads…only different.

2) Encrypted Document Storage - Believers are given 150 megabytes of storage, protected by an encryption algorithm until the Rapture. When the emails are sent, the encryption password is released to 12 nonbelievers to be designated by the Christian who holds the membership to youvebeenleftbehind.com. It is recommended that believers use the storage space on the site to house sensitive financial information. While I cannot find this statement on the actual yourvebeenleftbehind website, Wired.com reports that this encrypted document storage is promoted this way:

“In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys. There won’t be any bodies, so probate court will take seven years to clear your assets to your next of kin. Seven years, of course, is all the time that will be left. So, basically the Government of the Antichrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way.”

Can you imagine the GUILT that you might feel as a Christian after being raptured? Imagine how you would feel, knowing that your money funded the Antichrist’s One World Government and the Great Tribulation!!!

Of course, if there is a glitch and the emails and encrypted documents are released early, member believers could find themselves in a very awkward spot. The nonbelievers receiving your email will assume that you have been raptured, and the nonbelievers receiving your encrypted information will assume that, since you are gone, your finances are fair game to be looted.

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Category: Religion & Faith |

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