Scott on September 20, 2007 at 10:19 pm
I enjoy channel surfing to keep up on what is going on out there in the land of 100+ channels with nothing worth watching. It helps me keep up on popular culture and it keeps me somewhat in tune with what my students are feeding their minds. Unfortunately, last week I had the chance to catch the last half of a show produced by MTV titled “Date My Mom.” Here’s how MTV sets the show up on their website:
MTV is taking dating to a whole new level with Date My Mom. Each episode features a different brave guy looking for love in the weirdest place…on dates with three different moms. He’s not looking to hook up though, he’s spending time with the moms to discover everything he can about their daughters. Our brave guy’s job is to try and guess just how far the apple did fall from the tree. He won’t be able to see a picture of the daughters on his dates, so he’ll have to work hard to get the truth out of the moms. In the end, everyone meets up on the beach to hear his decision. This is the spot where he’ll finally get to see what these daughters look like. Will he pick a hottie or will he be hurtin?
The noble, upstanding young man in this particular episode is Jeff, a guy looking for a new girl friend. In the portion that I watched, the last of the three mother-daughter duos were vying for Jeff’s attention and affections. Amber (the mother) is 42 and her daughter Cheyenne is 19. Here’s some stuff from the highlight reel…
When Amber is asked to describe her daughter, she says, “Cheyenne is more my best friend than she is my daughter.” This touching sentiment is demonstrated moments later when she adds, “Not only is Cheyenne beautiful but come on, boys, she is stacked!”
Just before the young-guy-on-a-quest-for-true-love (sort of) arrives to take the mom/best friend (Amber) out on their “date,” Cheyenne asks her
mother best friend, “So what are you going to tell him about me?”
Replies the mom/best friend ever-so-proudly and with total conviction, “I’m going to tell him that you’re absolutely beautiful with long dark hair and you’re totally stacked!”
To this Cheyenne reminds her
mom best friend, “You can also tell him I like to party, like how I like to go to the beach and the river and the time I woke up with money in my shirt.”
Later on when he-who-is-looking-for-a-soul-mate (kind of) asks Amber (the
mom best friend) how she would describe her daughter, she says proudly, “I would say that Cheyenne looks like Sandra Bullock with big boobs “
What ensues next is a riveting discussion between the young
letch man and the hip mom best friend about Bay Watch, bathing suites and doing the “Bay Watch Run” on the beach. The now curious Jeff feels driven to inquire further by asking the mom best friend, “Now in this bathing suite, exactly how big are these boobs?”
mom best friend replies (with suitable hand gestures to give visual demonstration), “They are this big and they are natural.”
Young Jeff comes back with the insightful comment, “Some cantaloupes, huh?”
Mom wholeheartedly agrees, “Yeah, she lucked out!”
When giving a last encouraging word to Jeff as to why he should pick her daughter, mom/best friend/Amber says, “Jeff, remember, Cheyenne’s chest looks like two puppies fighting in a bag. You gotta pick my daughter!”
A mother who prefers to describe her daughter as her best friend goes on to makes no less than 6 references to her daughters breasts, as though as the mother of this girl she thinks this is a perfectly acceptable criteria by which a guy could/should/would be trolling for a girlfriend. I guess it’s part of the use-it-if-you-got-it-girl-power mentality.
(As a side note, I know that personally as I father I am fully hoping that any decent prospective boyfriend for my daughter has taken the time to sexualize and fantasize about her and her anatomy. How else will they know if she has any value? I mean, it’s not like her brain or heart or personality or spirit are worth anything!)
I can’t help but wonder about the family dynamic in the house where Amber and Cheyenne live. How does the dad in the family (and I know there is one because Amber says that she is married and the mother of 5) view his daughter as a valuable treasure to be valued, nurtured and guarded, or as a piece of meat to be pimped out to the highest bidder (which seems to have been MTV)?
What exactly did the mom and dad get for sexualizing their daughter on national/international television? Did Amber (the mom/best friend) get a chunk of change for each time she could draw attention to her daughter’s breasts? Maybe the dad stood off to the side, smiling proudly during the filming of this quality piece of popular culture, whispering to his wife, “Psst! Talk about her boobies one more time. Come on, honey, use the line we rehearsed about Cheyenne’s rack being large enough for 3 guns and a 6 pack of beer! The guy(s) will love it!”
I wonder if the parents would promote (sell) a son the same way “Come on and check this out, girls! He is carrying a package that you have to see to believe. If you’ve seen Hollywood Nights, then you ain’t seen nothing yet!”
Sorry to be so crude, but I’m just saying…
Poor Cheyenne. Her mom has sold her a bill of goods that beauty and natural breasts the size of cantaloupes are the things upon which she needs to rely on. I hope Cheyenne lands a job someday with good insurance that covers mental health treatments, ’cause I’m thinking she is REALLY going to need therapy.
I wonder if this was what Rome was like back in the first century.