Time Magazine Disses Dads for Father’s Day
John on June 15, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Time has a fresh article for Father’s Day. The plan, apparently, was to provide a little pop science on dads. But in this case, Time is selling sizzle, not steak.
Where to begin…? For starters the headline is a blunder: The Psychology of Fatherhood. That might be fine if it were a piece written by a psychologist or psychiatrist. It’s not. Maybe it could still have worked if the article contained any psychological insights. It doesn’t.
The article is written by UC Davis anthropologist Sarah Hrdy. Shouldn’t it have been The Anthropology of Fatherhood? Anyway, I’m not a highly paid Time editor, so what do I know.
Here’s how it begins, setting up the twist that the piece plays off:
The folks at Hallmark are going to have a very good day on June 17. That’s when more than 100 million of the company’s ubiquitous cards will be given to the 66 million dads…What’s less clear is whether dads–at least as a group–have done a good enough job to deserve the honor.
Humans it seems are bad fathers:
According to a 1994 study by the Children’s Defense Fund, men are more likely to default on a child-support payment (49%) than a used-car payment (3%).
But, dude, how many of those cars were truly sweet Camaros? Seriously though, count me suspicious of anything coming out of the CDF, but okay let’s roll with it. Bad dads abound and science is going to tell us why. So here we go into the evolutionary psychology handbag or the sociology backpack or maybe the anthropology man-purse:
Many of our primate kin are far better fathers than we are (investigators at the California primate center discovered that baby titi monkeys are in the arms of their fathers for as much as 90% of daylight hours)…
Well, that settles it. I’m going back to work as soon as I can find a Titi monkey to watch the kids. Maybe Wal Mart has them. Wait, we’re shifting direction now:
hormonally speaking, men are a lot more similar to women than many of us realize…human males are known to have high levels of prolactin (a hormone usually associated with lactating mothers) toward the end of a partner’s pregnancy.
My wife is now 7 1/2 months pregnant and, come to think, I have been feeling a bit off. Yesterday I went out in the yard and built a giant nest of twine, two by fours and Styrofoam packing peanuts. It was weird.
New or expectant fathers holding either their baby or a doll wrapped in a blanket that recently held–and still smells of–a newborn experienced a rise in prolactin and…a drop in testosterone.
That explains the shrinkage. Oh, we’re shifting direction again, this time from endocrinology to anthropology:
Among some West African Mandinka, the help of a maternal grandmother has been linked with a halving of the under-5 mortality rate.
Yeah, they also have a lifetime supply of Titi monkeys in West Africa so, you know, maybe grandma isn’t all that.
As the kiddie coaster of pop science is winding down, we get the inevitable political punchline:
The politicized notion of the nuclear family aside, a mother and father raising children alone was typically a temporary and often less than optimal phase for our ancestors.
I’m not sure who is arguing for nuclear families if the alternative is extended families (grandma). I suspect no one is really doing so except for 2-dimensional religious villains in Hollywood films. Of course if the alternative is, well, alternative family structures:
some studies suggest that even having one full-time dad might not be enough…Research by anthropologist Steve Beckerman and his team suggests that the optimal number of fathers is two…
Not as good at Titi monkeys of course but — for humans — two dads is pretty darn good. Does anyone else think the author had a political point to make about gay marriage? Not that subtle.
Culture, not science, is where the action is on fatherhood.Okay, I’m having fun with this because it’s just so lame. The biggest factor in absentee fathers (in the Western world certainly) is the breakdown of marriage since the 1960s. No fault divorce and general openness to sex outside marriage are the chief culprits. Culture, not science, is where the action is on fatherhood. But Time seems more interested in dissing nuclear families than looking seriously at what’s damaging fatherhood in America. I suspect that’s because the real problems and possible solutions are a little too hot for a Father’s Day puff piece. It might even have led to howls of disapproval…
Titi monkeys
Category: Science & Tech |
Does “goofy”cover it? Remember, we are “Father-man”, equipped with Batman’s utility belt, Superman’s underware, and the Incredible Hulk’s temper. And of course the all powerful “NO!”, which always brings complete and instantaneous obedience.
There is only one thing that saps our power, dirty diapers (kryptonite).
June 15, 2007 @ 2:10 pmResearch by anthropologist Steve Beckerman and his team suggests that the optimal number of fathers is two…
That means that somewhere, Steve Beckerman has an equation for optimal quantities of fathers. Everyone else uses common sense to arrive at “1″, but an anthropologist will use a made up equation, into which you put made up numbers, and get, well, whadayaknow, the number you fisrt thought of!
Hang on, though, we’ve got two children, does that mean they only have half a whole dad each? Do we need three other guys living here with us? I’m going to need an extension.
By the way, congratulations about the expected baby! Our son is just 10 weeks old, it’s a real joy having a new baby in the house, even allowing for hard work and lack of sleep.
Hope everything goes well for you all
Keith
June 16, 2007 @ 5:54 amKeith,
I think that John and his wife are getting ready to conduct interviews to bring in a second father. It is so cool that they are open-minded and progressive enough to be willing to recognize their failings as parents and then take steps to overcome those shortcomings. They are hoping to find a second father who also happens to own a Titi Monkey…the best of both worlds.
If you read the study by Beckman (the anthropologist), he also discovered that children do better with 1.5 mothers. John’s not quite sure how they will handle that obstacle. I suggested that they begin interviewing dwarfs. John suggested a very short super model.
I’ll keep you posted as to what they decide.
June 16, 2007 @ 7:43 amKeith,
Thanks and congratulations to you as well. We’re expecting our first boy (I have two girls 6 and 3) on Aug. 1. Looking forward to having a boy. I think we’ve finally settled on a name (just this week). I’ll be posting a picture when one is available.
And Scott, I thought you had agree to be the 2nd father.
June 16, 2007 @ 9:40 amJohn,
I did agree to be the 2nd father…as long as Angelina Jolie accepts the offer to be the 2nd mother. I’ll place my order on Amazon for a Titi monkey today!
Scott
June 16, 2007 @ 12:57 pmHey – wait a minute! I’m sure I get to weigh in on the list of prospective extra fathers. Since this is child #3 am I still limited to only 2 or do we now need 6 dads? Men are not known for the ability to multi-task so I am thinking 6 are needed, though maybe a few titi monkies thrown in would compensate. I better get working on that list…..
June 16, 2007 @ 9:42 pmHey John/Wife of John
do we need another two mothers too? I am going to need a bigger house. With a Titi monkey enclosure. And definitely definitely no more children!
With my whole 10 weeks of experience with boys, would you like to know the one thing I wish someone had told us earlier than two weeks in? The thing that they told my sister in law at hospital when her fist was a boy, but not us, because we had a kid already and knew what we were doing?
When you change him, make sure everything’s pointing due south. Saves a lot of extra laundry and him needlessly waking up because his clothes are wet.
all the best
Keith
June 17, 2007 @ 2:24 pmKeith,
Another word of advice a long the line of diaper changing…
Keep a small cloth handy at your changing table or wherever you are taking care of his business. The Reason: When you take off his diaper, the fresh air to his “everything” may stimulate a fountain effect, especially as he gets older towards 4-6 months. It seems to be akin to the effect that warm water has, but more “energetic.”
If you aren’t ready for the altitude that can be achieved by a geyser of urine, you may end up scrubbing the furniture, the walls and your clothes. You may even have to clean him and his face off if he gets caught in his own back spray!
Scott
June 17, 2007 @ 3:17 pmWe even had the black and white mobile that hung off the side of the crib of my first son christened with name “Pee Pee Cow”. Our boys howl still to this day when we talk about it, all these years later.
Hey, in Germany, it is considered healthy to drink an ounce of your own urine when you are first able to drink something other than mom’s milk (or if the family is inclined to, they all imbibe together- and although a common practice, most Deutschern would probably balk at the insinuation).
Aren’t you glad you are not there, Keith?
June 17, 2007 @ 5:25 pmI remember my friend, Del, making a confession on this subject when it came up in conversation (or perhaps it was his wife confessing for him). When he was changing his son’s diaper for the first time, he turned to get a new diaper and, returning to attend to his son, noticed a yellow puddle by the child’s head that seemed (to Del) to be coming from his ear. In a panic, he called for his wife thinking that the boy’s cerebral fluid was leaking out of his ear.
His wife had a good laugh.
June 17, 2007 @ 8:30 pmJohn,
I’m dreadfully sorry, I appear to have lowered the tone of the conversation! It’s time to make a stand and say I am confident in my ability to be all the dad my kids need without any outside help or artificial parental aids!
Incidentally, does anyone know how to get Titi Monkey mess out of a cream carpet?
thanks
Keith
PS – Eww, glad I don’t live in Germany!
June 21, 2007 @ 1:05 pm